30 July 2010


can i please make some cliche comment about how fast things can change? because holy shit. i have had a week that i am sure i will never have again. after months of confusion & weeks of attempting to push myself into the co-op program i have three job offers. i am beyond words. beyond. i have never been so flattered in my life.
now i'm in the position to make a choice. a choice that i has put me in tears, but no matter my choice, i am incredibly fortunate & i know that.

i also went to the john mayer concert at riverbend music center. i partook in a lot of people watching / staring & judging drunks. it was a load of fun, i learned that there are a lot of interesting people at riverbend.
i especially liked the guy with a pregnant girlfriend with him who was drinking beer from a straw, chain smoking cigs, occasionally pulling out a blunt & asked my friend if he could wrap her in his blanket and take her home with him.

he's the one with the fedora. quite the happy fella.

i also fell more in love with john mayer as the night went on, he has a warped intelligence & i adore the way he articulates his thoughts.

i had lawn seats; for an encore he played "your body is a wonderland" acoustic in the pavilion  

mini update for now. yoga in the morning. i need it.

how was your week?
what was the last big change in your life?

24 July 2010


so, life is happening right now. did you know that? the concept is absolutely lost on me sometimes.

ever had an on the spot phone interview while walking around a boutique, a sweaty mess after 75 minutes of power yoga? that was me thursday. life.

ever felt clueless when you read an email from a company confirming your phone interview & thought 'what the hell i could have sworn i was going to have to re-arrange my life to get to their office at 1:30pm'? that was me thursday. life.

ever been woken up at 4am by the smoke alarm in your apartment to realize your roommates idiot friends were smoking pot in your kitchen & see the hash was all over you international business textbook? did you yell "what the fuck?' more times than you can count? that was me thursday. life.

ever taken an 8am european history midterm exam? that was me friday. life.

i repeat, i would like a vacation, i would like a break, i would like a hug.

once upon a time i was easy breezy. 

friday after my test my grandma picked me up & i'm spending the weekend at her house. i am absolutely exhausted.

what is life doing to you right now?

20 July 2010


i called off work tonight. i didn't fake sick, even though i called in an hour before i was scheduled to come in. i felt like such a bitch doing it, but i had to do it. i put my sanity first.
tonight i sent my co-op shit in. love that i had less than 24hours to do what everyone else had 4 weeks to do [i'm done complaining]. i put it all out there & now its time to wait (again) for companies to make their choices for who they want to interview. 

aside from the stress of today, i've had a lot of stress. all self-induced of course. i'm tired. i'd like a vacation.

speaking of work . . .
myra's dionysus; i will never get over the fact that i work here. there are so many "myra things" its ridiculous.

but---i also got a 1/2 job. what is a 1/2 job? well its a job where you don't get paid, but you fucking love it. yes you are reading about the girl at my favorite yoga studio who signs people in before class & swiffers the studio after class. in return for my "work" i get free classes. it is absolutely ideal. (minus the fact that i take the city bus there, but i deal)

perk of the studio location: hyde park.
fresh carrot from the hyde park farmer's market. 

i did take some time for myself this weekend. for the record that is the biggest diet coke of my life & inception was fantastic.

what was the last movie you saw? inception, this movie kind of blew my mind. i think i told my sister that my life had be changed.
do you put yourself first? or more go go go? eh with the excess stress i put on myself i find that i have to really work to put myself first, my first instinct is to keep going.

13 July 2010

my sisters

my sisters. no use telling me they're beautiful, because believe me, i all ready know it. 

sitting here thinking back through the 15 years i've spent with libby & the 10 years spent with mary. i've lived through all of their phases & each new phase always brings a more connected relationship. funny how somehow the same thing has happened with my younger brother.

we keep it simple: i like them and they like me. 

we're all different, but we're all wired the same. mary & i feel emotions the same way, i see so much of myself in her. libby is bitingly sarcastic & unbelievably compassionate.
the fact that they can't & won't leave me gives me something to hold onto. 

it is about time i become content with being the oldest. 

do you have siblings? 
do you like them?

06 July 2010


attempted a bit of a design update; what do you think?

as i'm sure all of you are aware, today is tuesday. i spent my weekend at home, supposedly celebrating the 4th of july, but really i was just attempting to practice the art of relaxation.
saturday i did some free flow yoga (first time i've been on the mat since that tuesday). and i finally examined my relationship with yoga. & what it comes down to is that i have a hard time stepping on the mat if i am not going to get an intense physical workout.
to remedy this i'm making a yoga commitment to myself.
i will practice yoga everyday. no time spent on the mat is too short nor too long. no pose is greater than another. i will practice breath rather than cultivating sweat. i will take each moment as they are & when each moment is complete i will move on.

i spent sunday taking care of my house while my parents & siblings went on a trip for the night.
i met my grandparents at the farmer's market (10 grain fresh baked bread. it is delicious.), took care of the dog, watered the plants, had a friend over--went to the pool, grilled zucchini & eggplant, watched capote, & slept in my parents bed (just for the dog's sake ;) of course). quite a day in my book.

today i'm back at school attempting to undo my academic advisor's forgetfulness & appeal my way into the cooperative education program.
the problem: i have above the maximum credit hour limit.
the solution: 4 quarters of co-op work into my schedule anyway.
the issue: my advisor forgot about the meeting we had back in january when she said she would pre-approve me.

i sent my letter a couple hours ago & hopefully i can get a definitive answer by the end of the week.
the mess this has turned into has caused me stress & frustration. but have to remember that results happen with a clear head & i did my part. i cannot go back in time & its no use harping on what i will do if i get rejected; i just have to wait. easier said than done.

so, to attempt to alleviate some stress & allow some calm into my life, i read.
my current reading materials. don't the bottom ones look fun?

let's see, my pleasure reading consists of: 
bohemian manifesto: a field guide to living life on the edge--if you ever see this please at least flip through it, it is absolutely hysterical & may soon convince me that dropping out of school and becoming a yoga instructor is a very good idea.
alice in wonderland--i was supposed to read this senior year of high school but i essentially skimmed through it, i'm reading it very slowly now & it is much more enjoyable that way.
eat, pray, love--just started this one. the hype around it originally turns me off but my friend wanted me to read it with her so we could talk about it. so far i like gilbert's style.
the girl with the dragon tattoo--just started this one too, my grandma absolutely loves it. it is all right, still waiting for it to grab my attention.

clearly, focusing my attention 9 different ways keeps me entertained. 

as do freshly bloomed sunflowers.

do you & yoga have a relationship? hopefully soon mine will become a softer one.
what are you reading right now? to many books for my own good.
what's your favorite way to calm down? long baths & sleep work wonders.

01 July 2010

beautiful nostalgia

how do you feel about nostalgia?
i'm feeling it right now as i sit in my 3 and a half hour night class, being re-taught excel solver in a less effective manner than when i was originally taught at IU. 
i remember the group that helped me & laughed with me, we were on top of things & hardly ever procrastinated. 

sometimes i feel like i live in a world of constant memories. thoughts move from yesterday to last winter to five years ago. it makes the future seem unattainable. i'm twenty years old and my past is expansive. i find myself thinking oh god in ten years i'll be thirty. i sound like a forty year old.

sometimes nostalgia is just what you need though. i love when a song takes me back. nsync, britney spears, christina aguilera, hansen <--eight years old, my front yard with my next door neighbors, making up dance routines for an invisible audience. 

there should always be room for new too. 
especially in fruit form.

plumcot. yep found this baby at whole foods. looks exactly like a purple apricot on the outside. so delicious.

FIG. i overheard someone talking about figs when i was paying & i could not leave without checking for them. sure 8oz is 5 dollars. but you best believe i waiting in line again to buy them. my excitement mortified my younger sister.

i hope today was a beautiful day where you are. it was here. i went outside to get out of my apartment & return some stuffs to urban. soon i found myself wandering around clifton phone-less & ipod-less. i just looked around. i did have my camera. 

this is clifton. i find it interesting.

saint george church. i don't think it holds service anymore but, i do see the homeless man who sleeps on the steps more than i see my friends.

are you nostalgic? do you have memories that often repeat?
do you ever find yourself free? 
when i walking around i was free for moments. it wasn't constant, but it was there.