i can adapt damnit.

but now i want more coffee & spinach, carrots, cucumber, broccoli, avocado, berries, hummus, yogurt. give me back my produce. my cinnamon. my bed.
but scratch all that complaining because i don't want to complain.

i road-tripped up to indiana with my whole family. (dad, mom, me, brother, sister, sister) my brother had a soccer tournament. they lost. i went to one of the games, it was hot. i tried to relax; not so easy, the rooms are cold, we don't have enough water, all chain restaurants, the hotel is questionable.

god emily, shut up.


the more you complain, the more you complain. it does nothing. but i do want to scream a little bit.

pictures

guys i got a camera yesterday morning. my dad called me -- 6:40am to wake me up so i could meet him downstairs to grab it from him. someone sane would have gone back to bed at 6:55am when i got back to my room, but alas i am not sane and i got to figuring my new friend.

you see i really like photography. my freshman year of high school i was convinced i would be a photographer and and own my own studio. i took photo 1 & 2 in 9th grade, but then i was scared to take photo 3 with all the seniors my sophomore year, so i took entrepreneurs in action. then i realized my love for business.
i also took into to photography last year at indiana university; which shattered me a bit [i got a B].


i have a huge bias for natural studios, always have. a few years ago i deliberately ruined mother's day pictures, because they were being taken at a celebritykids portrait studio [with the giant sheets ugh] & i couldn't stand the way the man's tone when he talked to me.
i would never describe myself as nice.


onto today. today i took pictures. odd ones. not as beautiful as i had hoped, but i have all summer to practice.

without further adiu i now present---emily's mini walk in clifton.

nippert stadium--failed miserably at doing my homework, the music in my ipod was far more important

cincinnati conservatory of music alumni garden; i'm naming this little boy statue peter

obviously i got distracted when i was walking back to my apartment

good old clifton natural foods

rainbow of produce; if only they would lower the price

oh look it's myra's; teeny tiny restaurant where i work

get excited for more pictures to come; i bought this camera as a birthday present to myself && to keep me entertained this summer while i take summer classes.

how do you plan to keep entertained this summer?

any photo tips?

the sun has finally returned. it has been grey as can be around here for the past week and i don't know how long. friday we had a thunderstorm right above our house. lightning struck our next door neighbor's redwood tree. it was devastatingly fascinating.

what do i want? 

i'm at a crossroads. i feel like a damn cliche. i have choices that are only mine to make. i have to decide what i want.

i want beauty. i want laughter. i want the picture in my head. 

i want fresh. i want to flit around town with messy hair and a t-shirt. i want an identity.

there.

step one) smile more.

what do [you] want?

today's agenda: 

• dave farmar podcast
• shower
• produce shopping
• homework
• be outside

agenda for this fine sunday?

note: all images from weheartit.com

"the people who make us happy are never the one's you expect." --skins

breakfast

i thought i was over oatmeal.
do not get me wrong, oatmeal and i had some exquisitely delicious and comforting times. but i've been enjoying more variety (sprouted english muffins, toast, waffles) in my breakfasts lately & oats got knocked off their pedestal.
but this morning oats were divine, yummy and beautiful. i wish i had a picture.


the recipe shall suffice:

1/3 cup old fashion oats

1 small banana; some cooked in

a few raisins

1 apricot

1 tbsp almond butter

1 tsp pure maple syrup

note: almost all images from weheartit.com

altogether now--

1/3 cup old fashion oats

1 small banana

raisins

1 apricot, sliced

1 tbsp almond butter

1 tsp pure maple syrup

i microwave my oats seeing as i don't have a pot to my name, and i am too impatient for them to cook stovetop anyway. so my method:

add water to oats (maybe 2/3 cup...) microwave 1 minute. add some banana. microwave 1 minute. add raisins. microwave 30 seconds (or till you get to a consistency you like). add apricot slices, remaining banana, maple syrup, and almond butter. gingerly stir, to let everyone awkwardly mingle.

enjoy.

how did you begin your day this morning?

wine-ing

thanks for sharing your objects of comfort, i shall be stealing them all and testing them for myself.

i'm a sensitive person. i internalize my reactions most of the time. it takes a toll on me. i am able to turn every misfortune onto myself and accept the responsibility. this responsibility can serve me well, i can get shit done. but it also hurts.
i refuse to make this blog a pity party. it's not going to be rainbows and butterflies either, that's just not me. i'm just here to offer my perspective, however mainstream or abstract it may be.






ever done something out of the ordinary?
yesterday i ditched my meaningless responsibilities, trotted back to my apartment, and joined the party that is constantly bustling in my living space.

did i grab the nasty natty light they wanted to shove down my throat? hell no. i took out my birthday wine [whole food's $5 quail creek chardonnay] uncorked it and poured myself a glass, in my starfish tervis cup, no less [note to self: buy a wine glass].
then i sucked it up on a card game, finished my glass and poured myself another.
hott damn--i didn't die. i did however have the balls to yell at the dumb girl who broke my salad dressing cap.
no i didn't "party" all night long. all the kids left to stumble to better house parties and i put my butt in bed.

photo montage to wine:

seize the day.

kitchen floor glass of white.

maybe i'll live my life this way.

wonderfully ideal.

note: all images from weheartit.com

one of the many things i want to do with my life is a wine tasting, especially at whole foods. at the moment i love white wines, i have yet to graduate onto reds, but one day i'll be sophisticated enough for them ;)

do you like wine?
what's your favorite drink?

comfortable

i really like sitting in awkward places, you know the places that aren't meant for sitting, especially in my apartment. i sit on the window ledge. i sit on the coffee table. i refuse to sit on the couch and love seat.
and i like to perch, like five year olds do, knees tucked to my chest, feet right next to my butt. comfortable.
that's it.
that is what i am constantly searching for--comfort, i'm not really a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl; i do however greatly admire those kind of people. i however, just want to be comfortable.
i wasn't comfortable at my old college, or rather i decided i couldn't be comfortable. i'm trying to be comfortable here.

what makes me comfortable?
coffee.

sweatshirts.

warm hugs.

my family room floor.

yoga.

friends.

grey.

note: all images from wehearit.com

first impressions:

chia tea latte. iced. delicious.

gypsy soup. delicious.

two successes in one yesterday.

what makes you comfortable? i think out of everything though my mom makes me the most comfortable. and my dad. they make things okay.

any good first impressions recently? any bad ones? i get lots of bad first impressions just when i observe, mostly from my overly critical mind. 

thunderstorms

step one--thank you for being you. i'm referring to my last wordpress post. your love and kick in the pants is just what i need.

step two--hi, i don't know how to write what i want to write without sounding like i'm in third grade. eh, what the hell.

i like thunderstorms. i realized this today as i was wandering in the rain, each lightning bolt and thunder clap brought me a sense of content. i wore my rain boots, rain coat, and the same pair of jeans i've been wearing all week. i now have a frame of baby curls lining my hair line. i spent time under two different hand dryers contorting myself to un-soak my pants.

but it was all okay. because there was lightning. because there was thunder.

therefore i like thunderstorms.

i've all ready questioned this statement since this afternoon. did i just like the storm because i was walking? was it the adrenaline? because the day surpassed my grim expectations? because i have nothing else?

my thunderstorm didn't hang around all day. and oddly the weather ended up kind of pleasant, kind of gray. i think wednesdays generally turn out this way. maybe it's just because i have class until 5:45.

except i over walked myself today. i'm exhausted, exhausted enough to skip the entrepreneurship club meeting i was supposed to go to 40 minutes ago. i could have stopped, i could have taken a shorter route, i could have taken the elevator, i could have etc. etc.

but i didn't want to. i think i was trying to see if i could walk "enough". enough to be content with it and just let it go. i didn't reach it. i'll never reach it. and i don't stop trying.

the crazy today: i had orange juice with a luna bar for a snack. don't forget the raisins.

irrational rational: a whole banana, raisins, and orange juice, that's a lot of fruit. that's a lot of sugar. too much, too much, too much.

i talked myself down a lot. lots of number crunching. breathing. attempt to remind myself of the goal--gaining.

i refuse to talk myself out of fruit. fruit is real food. fruit is nutritious. i greatly enjoy fruit. fruit has no reason to cause me anxiety.

do you think thunderstorms are beautiful? i do.

switch it up

so i made a quick switch over to blogger so i could have more creative control over the look of my blog.

yep. i think i want to blog more.

will you have me?